5-2-08 2nd round of chemo

5-2-08

5-2-08- time for post chemo treats!

5-2-08

5-3-08 posing in front of her contest photos

5-3-08

5-4-08 the wonderful grandpa butt rub

5-4-08 oh yeah, a little more to the right

5-5-08

5-5-08

5-6-08 getting love from grandpa

5-6-08 another butt rub... oh yeah right there

5-6-08

5-6-08 MAN that was a good butt rub!

5-7-08 with my godson jonah: be nice to the puppy...

5-7-08 No Jonah, she's not a rubberband, you can't stretch her!

5-8-08 Stop watching me!

5-9-08 getting another ultrasound

5-9-08

5-9-08 found another tumor, so they started her on a new drug called Vincristine

5-10-08 the new drug is making Mattie sick

5-10-08 not feeling well at all

5-11-08 Mother's Day

5-11-08

5-11-08 Happy Mommy's Day to ME!

5-12-08

5-13-08 you know she feels bad when she doesn't even notice the ducks right behind her... poor puppy

5-13-08

5-13-08

5-14-08 a really bad day for puppy

5-14-08

5-15-08 feeling good enough to play ball...GO MATTIE

5-15-08

5-15-08

5-16-08 Checkers at the vet... Mattie came for moral support and protection. I have such great kids!

5-17-08 Nothing... Like...A...

5-17-08 Great...Carpet...Backscratch!

5-17-08 Damn that felt good!

5-17-08 sleepy puppy, time for bed... goodnight perfect angel

5-18-08 volunteering at the galveston art league & raising money

5-18-08 design works gallery

5-19-08

5-19-08 having lunch on the deck with friends

5-20-08 stayed home with grandpa

5-21-08 came to work with grandpa... she really loves her grandpa

5-21-08

5-22-08

55-22-08

5-22-08 my perfect angel

5-23-08 3rd round of chemo

5-23-08 came home to play with friends

5-23-08 ... and got yummy new puppy treats at petco

5-24-28 caught in the act... could these 2 look any more guity?

5-24-08 while we went to artwalk, mattie and checkers decided to dig into the fundraiser treat box and ate evey single one... it was so cute and they looked soooo guilty, all we could do was laugh! Just look at the face!

5-25-08 YAAAAYY, it's the "water game" with grandpa!!!

5-25-08

5-25-08

5-26-08 playing ball with grandpa

5-26-08

5-27-08 wine & sunset with grandpa

5-28-08 grandpa always gives the best treats

5-29-08 caught Mattie sunbathing on the pier

5-29-08 just look at her coppertone tan

5-30-08 not sure what's going on but Mattie just went downhill and fast

5-30-08 at the vet to get chemo but her red blood count went from 24 last week to 14 today... vet just gave us the bad "there is no more we can do for mattie" news

5-31 I'm Trying to find everything I can to help my baby

6-1 Nice Fresh Clean Puppy... now she can smell good when grandpa gets home!

6-1 mommy, please don't let him pull my tail again

6-2 Something bad has just happened: she started to bleed from her mouth and I rushed her to emergency. Several more tumors have mastisized and her tummy is filling up with fluid. My dad met me there. .. I just can't murder my child. I mean look at her sweet face... could you? The vet assured us that she has discomfort from the swelling but is in no actual pain. 3 other vets including Mattie's cancer specialist told me the same, so the vet gave her some meds for the discomfort and we took her home... oh God, what do I do now?

6-3 She and I were up all night and I held her hand and I prayed... I prayed for God to take care of my baby and help her to find comfort... and she did find comfort at 10:21 am. It was very fast and painless. I held her n my arms and whispered in her ear how much I love her until she became still. My mom was on the other side of her telling her how brave she is and that it's ok. I held her for a long time.. I was thankful that God gae her peace but I just don't know how I'm going to live without her.

6-3 Goodbye my beatiful perfect angel... I love you.

home
Photo Journal

Mattie's Cancer Battle

Last week, Mattie was given the worst news a cancer patient can get. They found many more tumors on her liver which means the chemo was not at all helping. She and I decided to get a second opinion and start her on some holistic remedies. She was doing great, still chasing ducks & playing outside with grandpa. But yesterday she started bleeding from her mouth and had to rush her to the emergency clinic. There was so much blood and by the time we reached the clinic, she couldn’t walk. One or more of the tumors has mastisized and blood began to build up in her abdomen. A horrible vet walked in and unemotionally told me to murder my child because I was cruelly causing her extreme pain, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t murder my own child. I yelled at her to leave me with my child and give me another vet. My dad took off work and rushed to the clinic to help us, but when he saw her face, her perfect sweet kind face, he couldn’t do it either. She was still lifting her head and barking at the puppies in the other room, and wagging her tail, and man did her ears perk up when her grandpa came in. Her ears perked up and she quickly sat up for grandpa to pet her head. After that, a wonderful vet, Dr, Boon,came in & sat on the floor by Mattie and assured me that the other vet was wrong and would be reported to the owners. She said Mattie was not in any pain, just discomfort and pressure. So, she gave Mattie a pain patch and some meds to help with the bleeding and we took her home. I stayed with her all night. She tried to get up a few times but she just couldn’t go far without toppling over. So I just made a pallet beside her bed and held her hand all night and prayed for God to do whatever it took to make her comfortable and happy again. When we woke up this morning, she wasn’t looking well at all and I could feel it was almost time. I was going to go get some sub-q fluids to help her with dehydration but just after I got off the phone with the vet, she looked up at me, took her last 3 breaths and became still in my arms. It took less than a minute, but I was holding her head and telling her how perfect and brave she is and grandma was on the other telling her that it’s all ok. I held her for a long time in my arms and she looked just as beautiful and perfect as she’s always been. I’m so happy that she’s at peace now but I don’t know how I’m going to be able to live without her. I miss her so much.

About my kids

I adopted Checkers 15 years ago from a local shelter. On the day I met him, he was to be put down since he had been there over 7 months, so I asked if I could adopt him instead and he's never left my side since. He has been so great taking care of Mattie. Any time he can sense that she's hurting, he walks up and starts licking her ears and nudges under her chin to curl up & fall asleep. He never leaves Mattie for too long.

I met Mattie when she was 6 weeks old. Her mother and 5 brothers and sisters were found starving in an alley Austin Texas until a local took them in and fed them until they were old enough to be adopted out. Most of her sibblings were adopted by the time I got there. Everyone wanted the ones that looked like black labs, which were all of them except Mattie. I stood outside the yard and watched for 10 minutes or so, watching her try everything she could to get any attention at all with no luck. All of a sudden this runt of the litter with her bloated belly and ears and feet that were waaay to big for her little body made a b-line through the yard straight for me. She was the most precious thing that I had ever seen in my entire life. Since then she's gone everywhere with me, even tubing down the Guadalupe River in her own tube... my puppy freakin' rocks!

The 3 of us have been through everything you can imagine, including almost being homeless. I remember a time when I couldn't even afford to buy groceries, it was either food for them or for me, so I was able to go for about 5 days without food so my kids could eat. Mattie has even saved me twice, once from a bad boyfriend and once from myself. She has never once given up on me, so there's no way I'm giving up on her.

I've put several photos of Mattie and Checkers on tees and artwork :

redbubble.com & cafepress.com

May - June 2008

Photo Archive:
Her big brother Checkers